There is more to love than just love.
Anyone could say "I love you" and mean it with their entire heart, like the many fangirls who would scream it at the top of their lungs. But it takes more to love than just love. It requires both parties to put in effort constantly, to prove their love for each other constantly.
No?
I could imagine why many marriages end up in failure.It doesn't come as a surprise because when both get so used to one another and assume that love is always present, some may just give up trying to please each other or forgot to create sparks in their bond. Imagine a relationship where the element of surprise is absent, no more dress-up dates, no more romance....no more fun and gradually no more love. Things that were promised are broken just like pies. Easy to bake, easy to break. Or maybe things that were planned, nobody actually bothers to follow through. Take for example, maybe a short trip that was discussed before but was forgotten and swept under the heap of work. Or maybe someone decides that work is more important than anything else. Of course, I'm not saying that focusing on work is wrong. But there's always a time to work and time to play. Time's always not enough until you plan it wisely. Time has to be found, to be put aside. There isn't such a thing as "no time" but just time that no one bother to find. Example, if you're very interested in catching a movie admist your busy schedule, you'll try your best to extract a certain time slot for a little treat right? That's what I'm saying. People have to find it. Then after comes half-hearted efforts. Some in the relationship might not be as ready or as excited about the plans that the other have in mind. Sweeping statements of "Yes, okay. We'll do it." comes out so easily and it may just flow out of one's mouth, not bearing in mind that these exact same words mean something of greater value to the other. One might often forget that expectations lead to disappointments. And how often can the other be led to such disappointments. Also, people may tend to stop the small little stuff that makes the other happy. Think back, when was the last time that you did something straight from your heart that made the other happy. Eg. picking up the person from work? Cooking a simple meal?
Imagine the phases, from a pair of young lovebirds who spent most of their time together to a working couple. A working couple as the name suggests that they both will obviously focus more of their time working. Time spent together will be lesser than before, both may feel a little more distant and sad and of course this cannot be helped. But what can be helped is how they spend the time together. Compensate lost time with quality time. Keeping in mind that time is scarce and that they applied all the finding time, no half-hearted stuff....wouldn't it make a relationship much better? Knowing that your other half have put in efforts, his/her heart into planning or suggesting that you both do something nice together....proves his/her love? Actions speak louder than words, and even a thousand i love yous wouldn't beat a simple gesture like that. Twenty years down the road when I'm 40 and married, I'll still want my husband to let me know that he wants us to spend some alone time together. Make plans for a little get-away. Surprise me when I'm at work. Of course, it's not all one-sided.
It's all these that make you still smile no matter how bad your day or week is. And of course, you could top it off with an i love you at the end of the day with a simple hug and kiss.
I'm no expert in relationships but at least I believe that I have put in enough efforts in whatever relationships that I've been in.
And that's how I want my other half and I to be in future.
Blissful and sweet.
And if you don't see that happening in the future, then maybe it's time to find a better half.
