Do you remember how it feels to be in love?
That air of awkwardness that blankets the both of us, so suffocating, yet so alive.
A slight brush of my hand against your skin, that tingling feeling that reverberates through my body, and I hope for yours too.
Exhale, inhale. I had to remind myself.
You sat relaxedly out on the couch, with your arms spread across the cushion. How could you be so relaxed?
There I was, sitting all upright, at the edge of my seat as if any closer to you, I'll suffocate.
Complete opposites, that was what we were.
"Come here,sit back," you whispered.
Crazy.
How could I let myself be so relaxed, I don't find it in my bones to comfortably lay back in your arms. I have just met you for the second time, my shyness doesn't just completely go away in that short period of knowing you.
"No, I prefer sitting like that," was all that I could utter, apologetically.
I found no reason for my apologies, why should I? I really I prefer sitting up like that, I do that often, in the bus, in class....wait, why am I justifying myself?
Trying to readjust my sitting posture in an attempt to hide my body that was screaming-of-awkwardness.
You moved slightly closer, your presence was as if a threat to which my body senses heightened, but it's just because I liked you.
Exhale, inhale. Exhale, inhale.
Spread across the cushions still, were your arms, as inviting as ever, as nonchalant as ever.
As tempting as that was, as seductive as that was, but the whole night just went by like that, with me still a few spaces away from you, and at the edge of my seat.
-
It was dark by then, we had our little drinks by the sea.
We stood up to leave, and we made our way past the foyer and walked out of the proximity.
We were about to cross a road when a car came by from a distance, you gently held my hand, or rather my wrists, and guided me to the pavement.
So close to my palm, your hand was.
Hold my hand.
My heart thumped in anticipation, and I hoped for yours too.
Even when we reached the pavement, your hand still lingered in the midst of my wrist and palm.
I was barely able to look at you in the eyes, and you couldn't too.
We just acted like it was nothing, hoping for something to happen or hoping for this to last a little while more.
Not wanting to say a word because then, it might just break the fragile moment we were in.
Hold it, you idiot.
But you din't, and instead you let it go.
I tried to hide the disappointment in my eyes, but silly me, who was I to expect that from you.
We barely know each other anyway.
But why did your hand linger? It was as if for a moment, we could have walked hand in hand.
I would love that.
-
"Do you mind?" you bravely asked, but I could sense the shyness in you as you spoke a little too quickly in an effort to conceal your fear of my rejection.
To what do I mind?
Then, you put your arms around me and tugged me slightly closer to you.
Thankful for the darkness in the cab that very easily hid my smile and I meekly buried my face in your chest.
This is a first, for us. We just sat there in silence, while the car hums along the highway.
"Is it uncomfortable?" your voice low from the previous silence that just broke.
The silence? No.
But yes, my arms are in an awkward position and I'm about to go numb.
Too shy to even move a muscle to ease my numbness, I merely muttered "no" and we went back to the comforting silence. Nothing weird about the silence, just glad that it was no one else but you.
The cab slows as it enters my estate, no, this moment is about to end soon.
I could not go home, we could head somewhere else! Or your place!
What an audacity, I must be crazy.
Yes, crazy in love.
-
Together, forever, my love.
