Once again, it's in the night when my brain spews out thoughts like a well-oiled machine.
Recently, Mikoh asked me to read: How We Let People Go
And after I read it, I find myself not being able to relate as much to it as I thought I would. Given the past that I've been through (not that it was exactly an extremely eventful and dramatic one, but yeah it has its little drama in it)
Most would find it so hard to let go of the people that they once loved and used to know so well. It's actually not that tough after all, if that person's such an asshole. Sometimes, you just have to learn to tell yourself that you don't deserve all the suffering. I mean there's certainly a reason as to why your friendship or relationship ended up in the gutters. Just constantly remind yourself of why it is beyond any repair and just step out of it. In simple layman's term, just think of all the bad things. The anger will immediately dissipate any tinge of sadness that you thought your broken self felt. At least that's how it worked out for me.
Of 2 lost friendships and 1 lost relationship, enough experience has been gained for me to realise that it's actually quite pathetic to wallow in the we-used-to-be-so-close-but-what-happened-to-us stage. Just wander out of that thought and turn your sadness into rage. You deserve better, I deserved better.
Types of friends that you don't need in your life:
1. The Friend that cannot bear to see others happy
When this friend broke up with his 'girlfriend' (he wasn't exactly her bf because she had a bf at that time, basically meaning that they ended their affair). Falling into desperation, despair and depression, he kept trying to go back to the girl over and over again even after they 'ended'. Through this redundant process, he was hurt over and over again (the girl's a bitch as well) and finally, he himself decided everyone shouldn't be happy and that relationships won't last. At around this stage that he was in, I went into a relationship. Being sensitive, I din't really talk much about my budding love. However, he just kept asking about my relationship only to shoot me down by saying stuff repeatedly like, "You'll end up like me very soon. Depressed and all. Your relationship won't last.". He would smirk whenever he says stuff like that, just waiting to watch me fail. It annoyed me very much but I tried to be as understanding as I could with him. Finally, I realised I shouldn't deal with this shit he's throwing at me anymore. I don't deserve those comments and I sure as hell din't have to put up with a friend that cannot bear to see anyone happy because he is not. I'm not being selfish here, if only you knew the how much I cried for him during our friendship because he's such a dumbass. (NOTE: I DID NOT LIKE HIM OR ANY SORTS PLEASE. ONE CAN CRY FOR FRIENDSHIPS). But anyway, point is yes, you may be unhappy at the current stage but you should always be truly happy for your friends if they are happy. Unless they're constantly flaunting in your face about how damn happy they are, being insensitive, when you're at a down stage...you should do without them.
And that's how I just dropped him like a hot potato, enough is enough. Easy. After that, I would think back to that friendship we had but I din't feel a thing because I just decided that I deserved better. In a way, it's better to be selfish because it is easy on you. Take it too hard on yourself but the other might not even bother, so why bother?
2. The Friend that has to be better than you in every way
Completely opposite from the Friend above. She asks you about every single thing going on in your life as if she's genuinely concerned but she actually just wants to compare her current UNLOCKED ACHIEVEMENT with yours. Such are friends who are basically very sad to have because they're such empty souls that just want your unhappiness in life to fill them up. Also, the thoughts that they are better than you feeds their thirst-hungry souls. You are as if, a pedestal to them, to raise them up to higher grounds while they look down smilingly upon you as you sink into quicksand. Such are friends that I'm pretty you have no qualms with letting go.
3. The Friend that changes
This is the Friend that slowly morphs into another completely different human being that you no longer recognise in your friend database. His change is subtle but increases at a growing rate and suddenly, he becomes extremely different. You cannot comprehend his actions, his words and he can barely justify himself for the change. It's as if he suddenly just doesn't want you as a friend anymore. Such a friend, just leave him alone because all the efforts that you try to make things work out again, went in vain. He's changed and we got to accept it that he is no longer coming back. Even if he does, it'll no longer be the same.
Like what we learnt in business, opportunity cost.
If we apply it here: You put your efforts in this lost friendship, you're losing because of the time and efforts that you can spent with another person that actually deserves it.
So please, take a break. Take a step backwards and just be selfish.
Think of all the bad stuff that they've done and tell yourself that you deserve better than this.
It'll be so much easier to let them go, forever.
Hell, you won't even remember they exist until you see their name appear somewhere.
But even if you remember, you'll just be proud of yourself that you let go of them quick and fast.
And once again, they're gone from your mind.
As quick as a flash.
